Bruised Ego

I'd always known that I can be kinda stubborn and that I have a pretty sizable ego, but no one had ever really pointed it out to me save J. until a couple of weeks ago. Eversince I'd gotten a job I'd very often insisted on paying for whatever I bought, especially meals, or I'd at least split the bill. (The guys didn't always have a say in the matter unless it was a date of course).

Met a potential buddy for dinner, and (embarraisingly enough) only had 200RMB in my purse as I'd forgotten to get more before meeting him. Now because this was a friendly dinner we were gonna go dutch, no doubt about that, but couldn't that day, so we agreed that I'll get the next round. Unfortunately, he got the next dinner as well and I actually got annoyed and blurted out "I'm quite capable of getting a dinner!". I know, I know, any girl would smack me on the head and say "WHAT YOU ON ABOUT?? LET HIM PAY!!!" But I can't! There's this voice in my head that keeps telling me that I'm independent I can spend my money anyway I choose to, and goddamit I can buy dinner once in awhile if I feel like it! I don't need no guy to be flashing his credit card around. Friend of mine insisted that this is all due to the whole feminist thinking but seriously, it's not about that. I just hate being treated or thought like I can't manage by myself. Maybe I'm just over reacting :p Oh bleh!