How to Get Through Life in One Piece...

I broke a cardinal sisterhood rule when I was 16... I went out with my sister's ex. I simply couldn't understand why she was so upset with me since they'd only dated for 2 weeks before she declared that she just wasn't into him. Well after about a week of sub-zero degrees at home, my dear amused mother finally decided to intervene and enlighten me on the Unwritten Rules of Sisterhood. (Thanks, mum.) And that was when I learnt that you NEVER NEVER date, snog, flirt, make meaningful eye-contact with your sister's ex. NO man is worth losing a sister over... or a good girlfriend for that matter.

Today, in order to help alleviate the boredom of having to sit through a 2 hour department meeting, I decided to pick the brains of my colleagues and see if they could regale me with other Cardinal Rules that they feel should NEVER NEVER be broken, on pain of death and the risk of being cursed for 7 generations to come. It got to be a little silly after awhile but here they are anyway...


NEVER NEVER...

1 ... gossip with your boss. It'll come back and bite you in the ass one way or other.
2 ... get drunk at a company party and make out with your boss' husband / have a ONS with a colleague.
3 ...call / SMS yout ex when you're drunk
4 ...read / check your partner's e-mails / SMSs
5 ...date, snog, flirt, make meaningful eye-contact with the guy with the gorgeous tush whom you KNOW your girlfriend / sister has a huge crush on
6 ...swear at your parents


And then there are the No-nos, the ones which you MAY be forgiven for doing, but still highly encouraged to avoid.


TRY NOT TO...

1 ...lie to get out of a family event, because, someone will inadvertently see you and it'll get back to the rest. Won't look good
2 ...wear coloured / printed knickers under white bottoms.
3 ...wear sleeveless tops without shaving / waxing your underarms
4 ...wear clothes that are in fashion but that you can't carry off... seriously...
5 ...wear stilletoes if you can't walk in them
6 ...dislodge food particles from a cavity with mouth wash. Unless you're addicted to pain.
7 ...drink warm coke immediately after eating chillies. Unless you enjoy your lips being on fire.
8 ...have calamaris on a first date / when with someone you want to impress.
9 ...photocopy various parts of your body and tape them to the notice board "because it's fun!"
10 ...have an affair with a client's husband
11 ...have an affait with a client's husband and get caught. It's happened!

I'm still on the lookout for more NEVER NEVERs... Share?